As you probably know, our white paper “Hit the Target with E-mail Marketing: One to One Best Practices” describes the advantages of targeted e-mail marketing and offers some helpful guidelines for mounting one-to-one campaigns.
However, it also takes a dim view of spamming, which probably didn’t sit well with dyed-in-the-wool spam followers. What about us, you ask. What about our needs?
For all the good-hearted spammers out there, we’ve prepared this short list of spamming best practices:
1. Always buy a list
Building your own list is way too much work. And even if the secondhand list you buy contains a few honeypots, so what? I know of a certain bear who swears by them. Sure, they’re not necessarily good for you but neither is the grease on French fries and they—like the lists—are too tempting to resist for long.
2. Assume that everyone is an addict
You know your products are beyond great: they’re addictive, like caffeine or sugar. People don’t just want your product, they need your product—badly. So ferret out every inbox you can and shower it with messages. Don’t hold back! You won’t be doing those people any favours if you do. We hesitate to mention it, but if people can’t get their fix, who knows what they’ll resort to.
3. Communicate your enthusiasm…preferably with caps
If you’re really excited about your genuine, high quality Rolex replicas, then capture that excitement in your content. You can do this by using capital letters, employing larger fonts, and repeating key words. Some classic examples include “SALE SALE SALE” and “What a DEAL!!!” This works.
4. Set a firm deadline—NOW!
If you’re having a one-day-only sale, then put that front-and-centre in your message. ACT NOW! OFFER EXPIRES AT MIDNIGHT! DON’T MISS OUT! (I’m reaching for my credit card already…)
5. Include spelling mistakes and grammatical errors
Not so long ago, a savvy politician parlayed this kind of everyman strategy into two terms at the White House. People like to feel smart, so give them what they want. When your content is peppered with obvious errors, it encourages readers to empathize with you, the honest spam merchant, who’s only trying to earn a living.
Although one-to-one e-mail marketing is more our style, on a personal level, we have been known to PayPal our way to cheap medz from time to time. So, to all our spammer friends, we say: don’t give up on us because we won’t give up on you—even if our ISP does.
On that note, we dare you to take another walk on the one-to-one wild side and read our white paper “Serving! One Customer at a Time: How to Win with Marketing Automation”. Then send us an e-mail…
As you probably know, our white paper “Hit the Target with E-mail Marketing: One to One Best Practices” describes the advantages of targeted e-mail marketing and offers some helpful guidelines for mounting one-to-one campaigns.
However, it also takes a dim view of spamming, which probably didn’t sit well with dyed-in-the-wool spam followers. What about us, you ask. What about our needs?
For all the good-hearted spammers out there, we’ve prepared this short list of spamming best practices:
- Always buy a list. Building your own list is way too much work. And even if the secondhand list you buy contains a few honeypots, so what? I know of a certain bear who swears by them. Sure, they’re not necessarily good for you but neither is the grease on French fries and they—like the lists—are too tempting to resist for long.
- Assume that everyone is an addict. You know your products are beyond great: they’re addictive, like caffeine or sugar. People don’t just want your product, they need your product—badly. So ferret out every inbox you can and shower it with messages. Don’t hold back! You won’t be doing those people any favours if you do. We hesitate to mention it, but if people can’t get their fix, who knows what they’ll resort to.
- Communicate your enthusiasm…preferably with caps. If you’re really excited about your genuine, high quality Rolex replicas, then capture that excitement in your content. You can do this by using capital letters, employing larger fonts, and repeating key words. Some classic examples include “SALE SALE SALE” and “What a DEAL!!!” This works.
- Set a firm deadline—NOW! If you’re having a one-day-only sale, then put that front-and-centre in your message. ACT NOW! OFFER EXPIRES AT MIDNIGHT! DON’T MISS OUT! (I’m reaching for my credit card already…)
- Include spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. Not so long ago, a savvy politician parlayed this kind of everyman strategy into two terms at the White House. People like to feel smart, so give them what they want. When your content is peppered with obvious errors, it encourages readers to empathize with you, the honest spam merchant, who’s only trying to earn a living.
Although one-to-one e-mail marketing is more our style, on a personal level, we have been known to PayPal our way to cheap medz from time to time. So, to all our spammer friends, we say: don’t give up on us because we won’t give up on you—even if our ISP does.
On that note, we dare you to take another walk on the one-to-one wild side and read our white paper “Serving! One Customer at a Time: How to Win with Marketing Automation”. Then send us an e-mail…